Confrontation

I just arrived back in Singapore this morning.  She came and picked me up.  While we were in the car, she told me that she knew that I was tracking her.  Apparently, a few people reading my blog called the person and the bastard told the bitch!

Anyway, we drove to the nearby park to talk.  She told me she knew she was totally wrong and that she should not have lied to me.  She begged for my forgiveness and told me the truth about what I already knew.  She begged me not to spill the beans on the guy as he was already married and in the civil service and could lead to a lot of trouble for him, while at the same time begging me not to tell on her.  She cried her heart out.

I was really torn.  During this trip overseas, I had the opportunity to chill out and think things through and really, I feel that the other guy is a bastard.  I already know who he is.  And seriously, if I blow this matter up, it would really hurt him a lot just as much as she would also get it.  I really felt like tearing them apart with my own two hands.  She told me she would not ask for anything because she knew she was in the wrong and she knows that I have the proof to back it up that she has been hoodwinking me all this time.  She would not ask for a single penny; not that that matters.

We ended up arguing.  Seriously, how can a woman who has pledged to love you and take care of you ever do something like that to another.  Being cuckloid is one thing but to be lied to time and again.  Anyway, went home.  I saw my daughter and just hugged her for the longest time.  If anyone out there is a dad, you will understand that a child is innocent.  I really would like to publize this whole event but the only thing stopping me is seeing my daughter.  I would give anything to make her happy.  I know some people think it is a dumb thing to do.  But the child is really innocent and if there was no children involved, I am sure you would be reading this in the New Paper shortly about the next sex scandal in Singapore.

I was schoolmates with Michael Palmer and knew who he was.  The prefect, the goody two shoes etc.  When the sex scandal of his came out, I did not give it too much thoughts.  But right now, I think I understand how his child must have felt when his dad got into the limelight.  I guess I don’t want this child to go through the same emotional scars.

I packed up my bags and now am living in a hotel with just my suitcases for tonight.  I guess I will be seeking legal representation shortly to get things sorted out.

I am so emotionally drained.  This past few weeks have been hell and I really do not wish this on anyone.  I have done my duty as a husband and father.  Now I just hope that God will give me the strength to carry on.

70 thoughts on “Confrontation

  1. hey, i feel for you. chill man. Just take it as a bad bad nightmare. Cut off ties with the b1tch and move on with the life you are supposed to have.

  2. She is only sorry because she got caught. Never once she had shown a shred of remorse with all the lies to you. And with the SMSes she shared with the other man, its only even more damning towards her. I’m a victim of a cheating woman as well and I will strongly recommending giving them what they deserve: A full blown exposure of their cheating lives. This applies to the other man as well. Why should the only person to bear the humiliation be you? Expose both of them fully, humiliate them by letting their workplace, their own families, their friends know. And finally, walk away with your head held high, because you know, you hold the moral high ground. In time, your daughter will understand, even thou you are not the biological father, you have been there for her and she will love you even more.

  3. question is.. can u forget even if u forgive..
    my advise is expose the man and your wife.. this is for being an ass hole to u. the man is after ur wife pushy, simple as that. ur wife is also looking for lust.. there no love in them.. sorry but to say.. the man treat ur wife as free ‘meal’

  4. Hey there, so sorry to hear about this.
    It’s definitely gonna be a hard road ahead of you.
    A big part of me wants to tell you they really need to learn a lesson… The problem is these wicked acts will continue and continue because there really isnt a punishment.
    But also, I do think its hard because at some point or still do – you must have loved this woman so much you married her and her child.

    Feel so sorry for you. Hope you manage to beat this beast of a storm and come out victorious. Good luck!

  5. Hey I don’t know who you are but I hope you can be strong. There are many guys who have gone thru betrayal and trust me, the first 6-12 months are difficult to live. After that, once u come out of the shit, you feel so much better and will laugh at how stupid you are to cling onto a useless relationship and gave so much for someone who is betraying you. If you need anyone to talk to you or need help etc, you can drop me an SMS discreetly @ 91864733

  6. Hi..
    I’ve just read through most of your ordeal here on your cheating wife.
    It’s a really sad thing to know but based on the messages you’ve tracked,
    i do not see any reason for you to give any chance to this infidelity relationship your wife had with another party.

    One man’s meat is another man’s poison. If the Wife can cheat on you to be with another guy, she can also continue to cheat on the next guy and will never settle for the best.

    I hope you best sort out your feelings by now and best prepare to take legal action to expose the other guy. He should be taught a lesson.

    Jerm

  7. Hello brother, I personally have not been a victim of this however I can relate to how you feel. You need help & I think I can help you get over this. I made an email account so you can contact me if you want to.

    Cheers
    paultan006@gmail.com

  8. My sympathy to you. I cannot imagine the amount of hurt you have to go through. I hope the best for you, you definitely deserve better. Tough tines don’t last, tough men do. Take great care yourself.

  9. I know this hurts but let time heal ur wound, freshen yourself, do what you think you want to but remember to only make a decision when u are in a calm state. Only that you will make a decision that u wun regret later. Life moves on, how many more decades u have? Do something for yourself and moves on, as long as u are happy. Be it u want to forgive and forget and stay on or leave her, as long as that’s the life u want after the whole incident then just do it, it’s a horrible experience but a lesson learned.

  10. Bro, I am impressed with your care and concern on the innocent kid.
    Take care of your daughter, but personally i would like to see the guilty punished. Those smses speak alot of how insignificant you are to the both of them, no man should go through this crap.

    Quoted from your blog:
    “She begged me not to spill the beans on the guy as he was already married and in the civil service and could lead to a lot of trouble for him, while at the same time begging me not to tell on her.” –> what about you? I only see “her and him” in the picture

    Regards

  11. Hi Will,I believe the greatest way to revenge is expose him like the NUS professor. He will eventually get punished. Pls do not hesitate to contact us at 61391435 or 97648031

  12. I experienced something similar except that we wasn’t married. Was working hard to prepare for our marriage but due to heavy work commitment, could not spend more time with her. Her response: lie to her family about going out with me yet spend the night in another guys house. Not once but twice (2 times that were caught by me. Unsure how many others that wasn’t)

    Sometimes girls just simply do not get the fact that guys worked hard for their family.

    No point protecting them, simply expose them and let them have their “glory” moment in the papers.

  13. Dont worry bro. You lose someone who doesnt cherish you, Its their lost, not yours. Its very heartwarming to know how much your love is for the child, its not something that can be replaced. I hope you have faith that God has a plan for you.

  14. Teach them a lesson. Somemore the guy is in civil service. Do yourself and the public a favour. Civil service servants so much free time?

  15. The only fact that you cannot change is the world keep changing. Believe in the power of time, you will recover and get over this ordeal.

    We will be here for support and encouragement!

  16. Hi, you do not need god’s help as you already have the necessary strength to go on with your life, you just confused and tired for the moment, all you need now is a just a little push. Now the woman lied, it’s okay if she lied to herself as we all do sometimes, but she lied not only to you whom she swore “till death do us part” but to your dear daughter who doesn’t even know anything. Even when you found out about them, She begged you to not tell on the man first before herself, why is she your wife putting that man before YOU? and sure she begged for forgiveness, but it does not mean she’s sorry, what she meant was “forgive me this time so I can continue this charade.” It’s obvious she doesn’t care about you or how you feel. as right now all she cares about is her lover. If you are a follower of god then you should know that keeping secrets especially this sinful isn’t very good.

  17. As a brother in Christ , I feel for you. I would urge you to “blow it up” , your daughter would be protected as the in laws and your parents know the truth. It would make it easier to explain to immediate family and friends and gather much needed emotional support from your spiritual leaders , family and friends. The judge should grant you the custody of your daughter in case of a divorce- which should be the next step. The relationship is damaged beyond repair. Forgive but do not forget. If the wound is left to fester and denial continues, the consequences would be drastic for you and your daughter, as she grows older – she will sense something is wrong. In a case of a open , transparent divorce with the truth released, your daughter and you will at least have a supportive environment to heal through this process, as your friends, family and supportive spiritual family will know. May God grant you the strength and wisdom to do the right thing, Althought I do not know who you are, I will be praying for you all the same. God Bless You and Your Daughter.

  18. Best advise I can give you my brother – There are times in life when God deals us a bad hand. But at some point in future you will come to realise that it was somehow necessary to save you from an even worse hand. If I were you, I’ll focus my energy on self fulfillment, because whatever fulfillment u had with her as a family in the past is gone forever. You need something to fill that void. But this is life. All things will come to end. Every being dies. Even love can die. Just have to treat it as if the person you love is dead. And when you get over moaning for your loss, will you be able to see beyong tomorrow. In the meantime, do pick yourself up and find solice in something that you have always wanted to do, but because of your busy schedule or whatever reason/commitments, you were unable to complete it. Now is the time to live your life.

  19. So what if he’s a civil servant. Give him a one time good one. No one should be lied n cheated time n time again. There’s a show I watched… in the show the actor said kill the enemy instantaneously. Because if the enemy ever had the chance to catch his breathe, the enemy will get back at you. This is not just mental torture u are going through. It’s psychological, emotional n physically torment. You have my support to expose that guy.

  20. After my divorce I don’t believe any good man still alive until I read your blog.(Sorry if I’ve hurt anyone with the sentences.) I was timid & don”t dare to expose what my ex & my friend had done to me, I really regret, If i can turn back the clock I’m sure I’ll expose them. Time is the best medicine to heal, You’re kind, God will help you to find a better girl. You’re in my prayer always :)

  21. As a child from a broken up family, we are truely affected by whatever is happening. Also, we aren’t totally clueless as to whats happening and whats going to happen. When my parents divorced when i was 10, it tore me to bits when my mother won custody over me when she was the one who committed adultery and my father, whoo had done nothing wrong, was the one that had to give in as my brother who was 8 years of age was clinging on to my mother as if she were a saint. At present, i am currently 16 years old and my dad is currently facing anger issues against the man as my father was forced to sell our landed property as my mother was begging him and called her family to harrass him even though she was in the wrong. They invaded my dad’s property and even though my father could have reported this incident, he didn’t. Long story short, please do not give in to your better side as i’ve seen it tore my father apart. Even though I do still love my father and mother, i believe that my mother has not learnt her lesson yet. So if you are ready to silence yourself for the rest of your life, then by all means, please keep quiet. However, if you know yourself well enough and you know that you will be seeking blood a few years down the road, its better just to get it over with now and tear this man down right where he stands. After all, it isn’t your life, you’re living for yourself and your daughter. I”m not sure how the daughter card will come into play but i really wish you all the best in your decision :) Also, if you’re religious, please do not curse your God or whatever faith you come from, your faith should not be wavered as my father’s was, in the end he fell out of his relationship with god due to his anger and rage towards the adulterous man, questioning god. Just think of it as part of God’s master plan for leading you into a new life, hopefully something better. Don’t feel down and cheer up, everything will be fine in the end. As Rancho in “The Three Idiots would say :” All Is Well!” I hope you will be able to find your answer :)

  22. hey, i feel you. my husband cheated one me not once but twice. he was caught red handed in the public by my friends, how shameful can that be? like cheating is not enough, still handy panky in the public openly. one of the bitch is still closely in touch with him and yes we are not divorce (yet). maybe im blind by love, maybe im just plain stupid. although he is not into a serious r/s with them or rather just need an additional attention where the girls can look him up like a god but is still wrong no matter what. however it all still boil down to one word, do you still cares and want to salvage the marriage? totally agree that it’s wrong, but who doesn’t make mistake in life? if it is worth it, if there is still love, then perhaps, maybe give it a 2nd though if you and the family still has a place in her heart. else, just do what you have to do even if it’s painful. i know you will pull it thru some day, and one day the right one will be there for u. meantime stay strong and be strong, your daughter still needs you.

  23. You are not wrong. Children are gifts from God. They are indeed innocent. I think after all your emotional trauma, you still have your daughter. You have my support.

  24. Hey Bro, i think you are a great dad to still protect your daughter. I think if I were caught in your situation, i would not have been as courageous to let my wife go without my revenge on the both of them. Stay strong man.

  25. Get a divorce and a new life. She wont be able to get a single cent from you. As for the daughter, try and fight for her custody. God bless.

  26. I feel & do understand what you are going through as I have been through it too, still struggling, but am glad that you did expose the

  27. I feel & do understand for you to be going through this, as I have been through it, and am glad that you actually had the courage to bring it out to light & kill their reputation.
    Because I don’t have the courage, and yes, have been suffering still for the past years, perhaps I should learn from you.
    Best of luck to you, and may God bless you to have a better future.

  28. It’s not how you fall but how you pick yourself up. I feel you bro.
    Do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Exposing or not is up to you but your ex to be will get what she deserve. It might be pain but we still have to move on.

  29. Whatever your decision is, I honestly think that guy’s wife deserves to know the truth as well…. So to some extent I do feel its the right thing to expose him (whether the media catches hold of it or not). Stay strong!

  30. I’ve been through it and I know what you are going through. It took me 3 years to get over it. Yes, the child is innocent. Just bear in mind that in Singapore the courts usually favour the wife, especially when it comes to the children.

    I really feel very sorry for your daughter. She is innocent and caught in the middle. She will be very traumatized and will affect her based on what my son had gone through. You are probably the only person that she can look up to and rely on.

    Pray and seek God’s guidance. Till now after 13 years, I don’t really know what His plans are for me, but I know that getting the divorce and starting afresh was probably the best thing I did.

    Contact me anytime if you want my opinions.

  31. Civil servant so what? Just expose the bastard! Got balls to do it, no balls to face the music? He outta know that something like this will happen someday but yet he still chose to do it! Knn, Sibei tulanz… Just do it, bro….

  32. Brother, you may realise up to this situation, she still protecting him,asking you not to hurt him. There is no more hope on her. Don’t tolerate. Divorce her to cut off all the pain for long term. you have to let go the daughter. i know the pain, but let it go, for your future life. Expose the case to his family, he need to take responsible for his wrong doing and not play for free.he also need to suffer the same thing same as you did. If not he will keep on making the same thing to others.

  33. Pingback: “iwantrevange”: Singaporean Man Documents Wife’s Affair | Hype.my

  34. exposed everything bro..no used to keep this kind of ppl. rather lost everything than long term suffering. divorced her and let go the child as well since not your own bloodline. how she and him played behind your backs you should played to them back eg: revenge (they ruin your life you ruin their life as well especially the that guy). understand how you feels since the child is innocent but you need to know between rights and wrong. hence the kid is not your bloodline unless you say you want to adopt her to be your own children if you want. she has no rights to takes anything from you either money or properties since you’ve evidence and she cannot takes any single cents from you. do not removed this post or blog as well as she has no rights for you to do so.

  35. Hi, I can emphatize what you went thru. My husband of 9 years with 2 kids had an extra-marital affair. He initiated divorce while on holiday on Xmas eve infront of the children . Thereafter I found out he had an extra-marital affair! Silly me then for the sake of the children was willing to forgive him yet he chose to abandon the family. He too was from management from civil service. He was trained as part of his job to restrain and control people yet he abused me and even has the cheek to report me to the police and apply ppo against me accusing me of scratching him?In the end we have to fight a PPO case. It happened last year but till now our divorce case has not been settled ! because the bastard wanted to walk away without paying the price ! He constantly made things difficult and even emotional abused the children and shirk his responsibilities in providing interim maintenance for the children while demanding for unreasonable access to the children when he had no heart for them . His life just revolves around the slut.

    Knowing his reputation is at stake , he threatened me that if I expose him to his boss I will not get a single cent from him ! He has no remorse nor conscience and even wanted the kids to drop tuition to support his luxurious lifestyle with the slut ! He has no integrity and constantly lied in the court documents.

    Woman charter does not necessary favour the woman from my experience so far . I hope you have consulted a lawyer. I did so when I first found out his adultery.

    I have been very tired in this journey bleeding emotionally , physically and financially however I continue to strive on with HIS strength. I hope I can see the light at the end of the tunnel soon and that you will also have your case settle asap and move on.

  36. hey Hanging There,

    You case is just alike mine. That bastard did all the same things you mentioned.

    We can just talk it out if you want, same here, mine case not over too. And it dragged since 2010, can image how I been pulling till now.

  37. Hey! I am also a victim too… My husband cheated twice and because of my children, I forgive him. Now is his 3rd time and I cannot forgive anymore and i packed my luggage out from house too. My 4 poor children have to stay separately because of this. I learn to be strong and now working is the only way for me to overcome all this.
    Tell ourself we can make this hardest time thru.

  38. Bro, i hope u read my response. U should expose him as there is another person behind him is also depending on him. if he is insincere then that person should know.
    Bro, truth is God and God is truth. Expose the truth to everyone who needs to know about her and him. Do it within 1 or 2 weeks and end this for good. After that, do not look back and move on in life.
    Bro there are many good souls out there and who would love and share not for money or luxuary, but sincerity.

    God Loves u bro, and that is why u have been exposed with the truth.
    take care. bye

  39. Why are u staying in hotel and punishing yourself when it is your wife who strayed ? Exposé them and get her packing!

  40. Buddy, i strongly advise you to expose this event as they deserve the punishment. Why let them get away with this while you suffer in silence with your daughter? Expose them and move on with your life with your daughter. I can feel your love for you daughter as my son is also not my biological son but i love him more than anyone else.

  41. I recommend exposing the bastards.. it’s hell for u to suffer like this. Make them feel what is SHAME for doing such thing when married. I mean, since it’s in the newspaper, then might as well go all the way to SHAME them rather then doing halfway. I may not be in a situation like urs but i did experience it at least 3 times in my relationship.

    As for the child, you just have to spend more time with her. Kid’s nowadays are unlike last time in the 1970-80’s. they are equip with smartphone and have more knowledge, they know what is right and wrong unlike our time which only violence is the only way to educate us?

    PS: i’m only 25, maybe not even half of ur age. so yeah. ultimately its your choice

  42. take it easy,brother.Do not feel sorrow over something you cant control.go to play some games in casino or geylang or go to a trip in thailand would cure you up

  43. Going through the same thing now. He is doing it the second time. Both times I found out in times when I am swamp with issues at work. I want to make him pay too after all the sacrifices thinking if I am kind, things will work out. How naive. Pray for you to have the strength to do what you need to do to have the best outcome.

  44. Friend reading your blog i feel your pain. Be strong.
    Always tell yourself if you know you are going to recover why wait so long. Focus to recover. Revenge will numb the pain but not cure it. Divoice her immediately and do not see the child anymore. Find another person and move on. The easiest way to move on is to replace your love on another person.

  45. Expose them in the papers!! that’s the only way for you to heal! protect your own sanity first!! take care n gd luck dude…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s